Reading I: Genesis 15:1-6; 21:1-3
Reading II: Colossians 3:12-2
GOSPEL: Luke 2:22-40
The Perfect Family
The bond we have with our family is something that comes from God. The scriptures we hear this week help us understand our role in our family. They are not perfect people – none of us are – but they are our family nonetheless.
The Holy Family Role-Model
Looking at the Holy Family doesn’t tell us how parents should discipline their children, how to make ends meet financially, how to handle crises, or how to pay for college. And yet we would be sadly mistaken if we believe that the hopes, problems, and shattered dreams we share in our families have not been shared by most families since the beginning of time.
The Holy Family was a family just like ours. Jesus was a baby and grew up like any of us. I’m sure he bruised his knee, got sick, and perhaps even had to face the neighborhood bully. Mary and Joseph also had to deal with many of the same things that parents struggle with today, including the fact that we don’t really get to choose our children’s destinies. I’m sure if they, as parents, had been able to provide a blueprint for how Jesus would grow up to be, things would have turned out much differently than they did!
I’m also sure that if my parents (or yours) had been able to provide a blueprint for our lives, the way we’ve turned out is probably not what they would have chosen – regardless of whether or not they are happy for us now. The Holy Family enlightens us to help us understand that, as parents, we have a role in the life of our children – and yet God also has a role.
Parents and God – It Takes Teamwork
As much as it may frustrate me at times, I am not God and I cannot create a destiny for my children. Probably the biggest faith test for us parents is to trust that God will take care of this part of our children’s lives – the part that calls them into active participation in God’s plan.
In the second reading, we hear Paul tell us that the closest we will ever get to perfection is when we love. Husbands are to love and respect their wives. Wives are supposed to love and respect their husbands. Spouses are to provide support and encouragement to each other. The idea is that the two become stronger together then they are by themselves. When two married people work together to build up their family – there is a synergy that comes from such a cooperative effort.
This working together is critical to family experience. Think about when we were children. When we noticed that one parent was easier to get to say “yes” than the other, didn’t we try to use it to our advantage? I remember working to create any opportunity to get my way.
My brother-in-law once said to me that only when the husband and wife are together are you able to outnumber the children. When a parent is alone – even with one child – it can be almost impossible for the parent to win. I have been in that scary predicament on a few occasions. One person can only do so much when children are pulling us in different directions. And when your children seem to outwit you at every turn, it certainly is hard to feel like a good parent – much less a “perfect” one!
The Perfect Family is a Work in Progress
What is the perfect family? I guess it depends upon your definition of “perfect.”
There are families that have one parent or two parents but still have some sort of difficulty they must cope with. The family situations are almost limitless, because they depend so much upon the personalities of the family members. Because of this, I believe that becoming a “perfect” family may actually be a moving target.
All God is asking is for us to do our best. To try to make a difference in what we do as a family. We are to work hard to be the best family we can be. Growing up, I remember the pretty family, the rich family, and the family with the cool parents. I later found out that these families also had difficulties. We all have problems within our families – we all have our crosses to bear. So we need to just do the best we can and rely on God to pick up the slack.
The gospel today says that Mary pondered on the wonders God was performing in and around her. Let us also ponder what God is doing in our lives, especially when it comes to our family. Ponder all of the marvels God will do with all of us. For perhaps the “”perfect” family is not a final state but rather a way of living life, loving each other, and worshipping God in the best way we can manage.
And even though our family is made up of imperfect people, perhaps with God’s help we can be a perfect family in His eyes!
Life Applications:
What do you think it was like being the parents of the Christ-child?
Why should parents work together with each other and the Lord?
How would you describe the perfect family?